There’s a type of person out there who will steal your energy and time by seeking approval. 

The approval seeking leech is that person who, right after an event, will text you to see how it was. 

And right before they need a recommendation for a job or interview, they’ll drop by your desk for five minutes to get validation.

They’ll suck the life right out of you when they are around for too long, leaving you feeling drained and exhausted. 

You may scramble to get things done or take on tasks that aren’t yours because this person needs something from you now! 

The need for validation could come from anywhere — a dominating parent who puts an immense amount of pressure on them, from bullying as a kid, or poor self-esteem. 

Regardless of the reason, one thing remains constant: they’re never able to become self-sufficient.

If this sounds familiar, then read on for some tips on how to protect yourself from the “approval-seeking leech”.

Many of us seek approval from our peers as we aim to impress people in our field or in our social circles.

We all want to be liked by people we come into contact with. 

It sounds obvious, but many people are afraid of saying the wrong thing or reacting in a way that makes them come across as “annoying, needy or weird.” 

Because of this fear (or maybe it’s a subconscious need for approval) they change opinions left right and center to stay liked by everyone.

Thing is, approval seeking distracts you, making you less effective. It’s also unpleasant, because it forces you to worry about whether people like you. 

Approval seeking is a kind of open loop: the harder you try, the worse it gets. 

Consider these tips:

1. Recognize the signs of an approval seeking leech 

Often, when we are in a difficult situation, we lean on others for help. 

Sometimes this is the right thing to do, and sometimes it’s not. 

The approval seeking leech will use your generosity as fuel for their ego and may not have any intention of reciprocating in kind. 

The signs of being an approval-seeking leech include: 

• Constantly asking others what they think about your decisions.
• Always seeking validation; feeling like you have to prove that you’re good enough.
• Inflexible; avoiding doing anything new because it seems better to stick with what has worked before. 

It’s important to recognize these signs so that we can stop relying on other people for happiness or reassurance.

2. Be mindful of your own needs and desires

Do you ever feel like your life is just one big juggling act? 

You’re working hard to meet the demands of a challenging boss, managing all the household tasks, and still trying to find time for yourself. 

It’s easy to get lost in your day-to-day routine and forget about what you need or want. 

Sometimes, it seems like the only thing that matters is work, but this can lead to burnout and dissatisfaction with your career and personal life. 

Try these tips: 

1. Make a list of what you need to do in order to accomplish your goals. 
2. Create a timeline for when you want these things completed, and break it down into smaller tasks 
3. Prioritize the most important tasks first so that they get done more quickly 
4. Give yourself rewards if you complete certain tasks early or on time

3. Don’t let them take up all your time, energy, or space in life

The approval seeking leech always wants, but never seems to reciprocate.

In fact, approval seeking leeches feeds off of negative emotions like resentment or anger. 

So, how can we stop these types of people from taking over our lives? 

In order to protect yourself from the toxic effects and consequences that come with interacting with these types of people, there are three strategies you can implement right away:

• Recognize that you are the only one who can take care of yourself.

• Take a break from social media, TV, and other distractions for periods of time to focus on your own needs. 
• Spend time with people who have similar goals as you do or share your interests.

• Make sure you’re getting enough sleep every night- this will help with stress levels and also give you more energy during the day. 

4. Set boundaries for yourself and others.

The purpose of boundaries is to preserve your own peace and mental energy. 

Having boundaries allows you to draw a line around who you help and protect you from approval seeking leeches.

Set boundaries for what is acceptable behavior in relationships – if someone won’t respect these boundaries, then it’s not worth sticking around.

If you aren’t setting boundaries for yourself, others will set them for you. Ensure that they are the right boundaries.

The key is to be realistic in your definition of busy – and then create boundaries around that. 

Here are some examples:

• Ask your supervisor for a clear description of the work before you say yes to anything extra.
• Automate what you can
• Delegate your tasks to yourself to limit the number of things you do at one time.
• Keep your personal phone calls to a minimum
• Limit yourself from doing things that are counterproductive to your work, like watching TV or checking Facebook.

Conclusion:

Approval seeking leeches are everywhere, sucking our time and energy as we try to please them. But it doesn’t have to be this way! 

We’ve provided you with 4 tips for how to avoid this type of person in your life, but if one still seems unavoidable then it’s important to set boundaries with yourself and others when necessary.

Remember that people need other people’s attention too, so give it away generously, but not at the expense of neglecting yourselves or those who matter most.

Have you had an experience where someone has been like this? What did you do about it? Leave a comment below!

The boundaries of your personal space are often violated in the workplace.  

You may not be sure if it is something that warrants reporting or if it was an isolated incident. 

When do you tell someone and who do you tell? 

However, it’s important to know how to identify these violations and take steps to protect yourself from any potential abuse that may result.  

In this blog post, we will discuss 3 common scenarios where boundaries are violated and what to do about them. 

1. First up is when a coworker takes credit for your work. Have you ever had a coworker take credit for your work? 

We all have, and it can be frustrating. You’ve been working hard on a project, and you’re about to present your work to the team. 

You walk into the conference room, set up your laptop, and start talking about how great of an idea it was when someone interrupts you with “I did that!” What do you do? 

Well, the good news is, there are some tricks you can use to combat this type of behavior. 

I’m going to give you three ways to outsmart your coworkers in order to keep them from taking credit for your hard work. 

The first tip is don’t be afraid to ask colleagues if they need help with anything – just make sure not to overstep boundaries and become invasive. 

The second trick is simply asking for recognition when you deserve it; we all like feeling appreciated. 

And finally, try avoiding unnecessary contact with those who seem eager to take credit away from you; instead of giving them the satisfaction of being right.

2. Next is when your boss asks you about what’s going on with one of your coworkers who has been out sick for two weeks now (but doesn’t ask any other employees).

For example, your boss asks, “So, what’s going on with Joe? Is he really sick or is he just slacking off again?” It’s difficult to know what to say in situations like this. 

So, how do you answer your boss in this case? 

In this scenario, you are between a rock and a hard place. You don’t want to become your boss’ gossip buddy. 

You’re under no real obligation to reveal anything personal about an employee (even a coworker).

This is a boundary violation in that your boss is asking you to divulge what’s going on in another person’s life that they should address with them directly. 

This might damage a relationship between coworkers if the situation is one that could be misconstrued — or one where there are personal feelings involved. 

It’s also a boundary violation because if you have no knowledge of what’s going on with this person then you could inadvertently (or purposefully) lead your boss astray. 

Perhaps you’d want to keep your answer vague. Even if you know Joe is sick, do not say so because it isn’t really your place to discuss another employee.

A response like “I’m not sure, but I’ll be happy to check and get back to you” is perfectly acceptable. 

You can also try to shift the topic by saying something like “Well, if he’s still out when is he supposed to be back by, maybe we can just have him take care of the problem then.”

3. Finally, let’s say that someone at work keeps trying to invite themselves over after-work drinks or wants to come over just so they can have their own drink from home while they visit… 

This is unacceptable behavior for an employee to engage in.

You can try saying: “Hey, thanks but no thanks.” And then change the subject and keep working!

If this continues, it would be worth telling your manager about it so they can take steps to prevent it from happening again. 

Conclusion:

Boundaries are important and can help people set their own limits on what they will or won’t do. 

Boundary setting in the workplace is a sensitive subject that can be difficult to navigate. 

However, you can’t allow others to cross the line with their behavior and still be able to trust or work with them effectively. 

The first step is recognizing when a boundary has been crossed; then set new limits for yourself — and stick by them! It won’t always be easy, but if you’re working hard on setting up new rules, they’ll become habits in no time. 

Remember, even if you receive pushback initially, once they realize what those consequences mean (or could mean) for their relationship with you, there’ll come a point where they stop pushing back.  

Even if you’re unsure how to set one, these three scenarios should give you some good ideas for your own boundaries that will help keep you protected. 

If any of these situations sound familiar, don’t be afraid to take action! What have been your experiences with boundary violations? Let us know, leave a comment below. 

What do you want from your relationships with the people in your life? Do you want to be taken care of, or do you want to have a voice and decide for yourself? 

Most of us would say that we ultimately prefer the latter. But when it comes down to it, many of us give up our boundaries because they are too much work! 

If you find yourself feeling like people are taking advantage of your time, energy and resources all the time, it’s likely that they’re not doing so because they’re bad people. 

More than likely they just don’t know how to take personal responsibility for their behavior. 

Boundaries can be a powerful tool in helping others understand what is acceptable or unacceptable.

You’re working hard, taking care of your family and friends, but you can’t seem to get ahead. 

Why? Because everyone around you seems to use this time as an excuse to take liberties with their boundaries with little consequence. 

This post will teach you why setting clear boundaries can help both yourself and those around you by teaching people what they need in order to respect your personal space and work ethic.

Setting boundaries with others will give them the opportunity to grow and learn how to take responsibility for their own actions

Setting boundaries is one of the best ways to teach others how to take responsibility for their actions, as it’s a way of communicating your needs and desires, as well as establishing how you want to be treated by those around you. 

In order to set boundaries, the first step is identifying what you need from the person who is trying to take something from you (whether it be time, space, money, etc.).

What are your values and do they align with what you want in your relationships? 

The second step, communicating these needs clearly – which behaviors are unacceptable and that they know what they’re getting into before agreeing on a boundary together.

You might say something like “I’m happy to proofread all my work,” or “Do I have your permission to send you whatever I write?”

The third and final step is to enforce the boundary. If they aren’t willing to respect what you need from them, it’s up to you to enforce your boundary. 

This doesn’t mean that you have to be cold, but it means you might have to state where you’re drawing the line and inform them of the consequences for crossing that line. 

The consequences will depend on the boundaries that you’ve set but we’ve covered what those are in another blog post. Click here to read.

Boundaries lead to accountability and self-reliance

I know you’re busy. You probably have a long to-do list and are juggling a lot at work, home, or both.

It’s hard to take care of everything in life when there are so many demands needing your time and attention. 

But if you focus on setting boundaries for yourself—whether that means working only 8 hours per day or making sure you spend enough time with your family before jumping back into the office—you’ll actually be more productive because you won’t feel overwhelmed or exhausted all the time. Plus, not having as much stress will lead to better health! 

Conclusion:

Setting boundaries with others is an important step in building healthy relationships. 

When you set a boundary, you’re inviting someone else into your life as an equal partner in this process of growth.

Boundaries give people room to experience consequences for their actions so they can become accountable and self-reliant over time. 

How do you make those around you more responsible? What are some ways you’ve found success setting personal limits?

Let us know what kinds of boundaries have been helpful in making others more accountable and self-reliant! We would love to hear from you!

Welcome to February, it’s time to rise and shine. This is a month where you can make some real progress if you’re focused and feeling energized. 

It’s time to ease some of those winter blues and push forward. Today I’d like to discuss the importance of enforcing boundaries.

Boundaries are a necessary part of life. They protect us from the dangers that exist in our world and allow us to be who we want to be without fear of being harmed or taken advantage of. 

Boundary lines represent where you end and others begin, so when someone crosses your boundary line, they have entered your personal space.  

If you work in a team environment, chances are that someone has crossed your boundary line. 

Maybe they didn’t agree with the way you did something and questioned it to make their point. Or maybe they were just being annoyed by always interrupting or talking over you. 

Whatever the situation may be, sometimes it can feel like there’s nothing you can do about it because that person is in a position of power or authority. 

But what if I told you there were actually a lot more options available to enforce consequences? 

In this blog post, we will explore some options available for enforcing consequences for boundaries. 

So, having set your boundary(s), how do you enforce it? Well, there are a couple of things we can do.

We’ll start with the least drastic option: talking about the boundary and why it matters. 

It’s important to talk about your boundaries because it can be difficult for people to read the signs if you don’t tell them, like when someone doesn’t want to hug or kiss hello anymore but won’t say anything—that person might think they’re doing something wrong or being rude by not giving a friendly hug or greeting. 

We all need some personal space sometimes, whether we feel overwhelmed by work, stressed out from school, anxious about family problems—whatever may go on in our lives at any given time.

If that does not work, try re-framing the boundary or finding an alternative way of meeting your needs first before resorting to anything more drastic. 

If you’ve been struggling with boundaries in your life and need some guidance, here are five reasons re-framing the boundary might be a better option: 

1) Boundaries can be restrictive  

2) When we impose them on others, they create an environment of fear or intimidation 

3) Setting boundaries for ourselves may help us feel more comfortable around other people 

4) They allow us to take care of our needs 

5) It allows us to live in ways that make sense to us as individuals.

If those methods don’t work and someone still violates a boundary, there are other ways of enforcing consequences. 

Try using an accountability system where someone has agreed ahead of time that if they broke the boundary, they will make up for what they did or they won’t have access to you. 

The other way is enforcing the consequence at the moment, like leaving an event because a person’s comments made you uncomfortable enough to not want to be around them anymore.

Conclusion: 

Setting boundaries is hard. It can be nerve-wracking to confront someone about a boundary violation, but it’s important that we do so if the situation warrants it. 

In this blog post, we explored some options for enforcing consequences for boundaries—from talking about the boundary and why it matters, to re-framing or finding an alternative solution. 

Hopefully, these ideas will give you more confidence in setting personal limits with others who may not respect them as much as you would like them to! What are some of your favorite ways of enforcing consequences for boundaries? 

Setting boundaries is an effective way to streamline your time and get more done. 

Ultimately, creating boundaries plays a vital role in your ability to achieve work-life balance. 

This article will show you how to set boundaries effectively. 

It’s definitely a fine line but once you find the right balance between work and life, you’ll wonder why it took you so long to get here.

The real key to setting effective boundaries is taking control of your time. 

Look at the following ways to stop being so nice and start setting realistic limits on what you can accomplish in a day.

Set Realistic expectations on what you can accomplish in a day.

If you set realistic expectations for yourself, it is much easier to set boundaries. 

The most important thing to know about setting realistic expectations for yourself is: If you don’t know how much you can accomplish in a day, then how can you be sure you’ll achieve it?

To know this, take small steps now, so you know what your next step will be when you’re ready. 

For example, tell yourself that you’ll have time for only one important meeting per day.

Tell yourself you won’t be able to complete everything on your list today. 

When you set these boundaries, you set a tone in your mind that says, “No matter how much time I have, I will not do everything today.”

Instead, you signal to others that they have plenty of time to complete whatever they need to do. 

Find your time wasters 

Wasted time is just one of those things you can’t change. 

But you can limit its impact on your life. You can choose to limit them by setting a personal boundary, meaning that in every situation, activity or conversation a certain amount of time must pass before you can continue. 

You can declare that you’ll only add a task on your calendar once it’s defined, or refuse to respond to questions unless they are clearly written. Setting weekly goals is another way to set boundaries. 

Also, set boundaries for yourself by setting an accountability partner. 

Accountability partners are individuals or groups of people who hold you accountable for meeting certain standards of behavior and resources (time, attention, materials, etc) in certain situations. 

Some examples of time wasters include having irrelevant Facebook chats with friends who continually ask you for help but don’t return your calls or emails when you’re busy doing other things; coworkers, who send you emails asking for information you don’t need; watching TV or videos on your computer when you could do something productive, ect. 

Having identified some of the most common time waster examples above, try to avoid them in your day-to-day work/life.

Use time blocks to make setting your limits easier

If you fight against the inner voice that tells you to accelerate or slow down, time blocks can help. A time block will place a limit on how long you can spend on certain activities. 

When you make time blocks, you put in place a schedule for when you’ll accomplish certain tasks. For example, you could schedule five hours of reading a book each day. 

You could also schedule 15 minutes each day for sleeping and another five minutes for journal writing.

This would be a hard set of tasks to accomplish without giving into temptation each time you want to do something fun or productive. 

When you work in this way, setting limits becomes second nature, and it becomes easier to determine when it’s time for you to take a break. It’s also an important part of managing your time. 

Conclusion:

Setting boundaries is an effective way to streamline your time and get more done. 

To do this, you’ll need to set realistic expectations on what you can accomplish in a day, find the time wasters that are getting in your way of success, and use time blocks so setting limits becomes easier. 

Are you using these strategies? If not, what has been holding you back from being better at setting boundaries? Let us know, leave a comment below!