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How To Face Your Fears And Gain Control Of Your Life

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Introduction

We are emotional creatures. So, what makes us special or differentiates us from other creatures? It’s our ability to experience life through a variety of emotional lens.

Life is an emotional roller coaster. Through these emotional lenses, we can create amazing memories and it’s what makes life more interesting.

However, some emotions can be a double-edged sword. This means it can serve us well when interpreted the right way, or it can limit us from achieving our full potential.

Yes, you guessed right! The emotion that I am referring to here is: “FEAR”.

We all have fears, it can be:

  • Fear of Heights
  • Fear of Success
  • Fear of Rejection
  • Fear of Looking Stupid

You get the point. Fear comes in many forms and it’s important to know that we all have fears, but what’s important is how we handle them.

When faced with fear, we either:

  1. Fight
  2. Flight
  3. Freeze

If you are one who fights during fearful times, you are in the right mindset whether you know it. But if you are one who chooses the ”Flight” or ”Freeze” option, then you have a problem.

The response would stop you from living life or just achieve your full potential. For example, asking your crush out on a date or trying to land an interview from your dream employer or job.

With that being said, in this article, we will look into some exercises and tips on how you can overcome your fears and take control of your life back.

Taking Full Ownership Of Your Life

”When you are fearless, life becomes limitless

Whenever I am fearful of something, I would recite the quote above. It reminds me of the untapped potential that I’d have if I were to live life to the fullest and be afraid of nothing.

So, in this section of this article, Let’s look at ”Why” you want to be fearless in your chosen area. Why? With anything you do, it’s important to understand your ”Why” and get motivated to take action.

Only after understanding your ”Why” we’ll get into strategies you can use to help overcome your fears.

Exercise:

In this section, I want you to think about the quote above.

Next, think about your fears and visualize that you are fearless. See how much better life can be when you are fearless:

  1. How many years ahead would you be in your life?
  2. The experience you would gain?
  3. The progress you made in life, etc.

Example,

Fear of finding a new career or business venture.

Fearful me: Remain at the same job, complain, etc.

Fearless me: jump and try a new career/ business without second-guessing myself.

  1. If I succeed = I reap the rewards (more income).
  2. If I fail = I make a loss, but I gain experience and learn a new skill.

But the major benefit here is that you are making progress. So, let’s say you fail, at the very least you now learn something about yourself.

The experience you gain from the venture can be useful in making further progress, or you now know that the career/business/industry does not suit you. So, you can move on with life and try other things.

Instead of wondering about your life, ”what if I took that opportunity, will I be in a better spot in my career?”. Then 5, 10, 20 years pass and you’re still wondering.

If only you tried 10 years ago, you would have got an answer and kept it moving until you get what you want. Might as well try now.

Remember, your progress is disguised as failures. So do not be quick to feel defeated.

Freedom, Freedom, and Freedom!

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Now, that you are more motivated to face your fears and see your life from the perspective of your fearless self. Fear can overwhelm, so before we learn to overcome them we must first reduce the power it has over us.

Let’s reduce the power it has over us in this section:

Step 1: Listing Your Biggest Fears

So you want to list your top 10 biggest fears on a certain subject.

Example,

Fear of Success

Top 10 Biggest Fears:

  1. Fear of people trying to take advantage
  2. Fear of the bigger responsibilities that I may have from having success
  3. Etc

Step 2: Understanding Where This Fear Is Coming From

The next thing you want to do is understand the origins of these fears. It could be something you experienced when you were younger or something that you saw.

Example,

Fear of people trying to take advantage of my success

Maybe when you were younger, you had a successful uncle whom you looked up to. But he was too kind to his family members that they always took advantage of him.

Whenever faced with some money problems, other family members always go to him and ask for a handout. Instead of trying to solve the problem themselves and repaying back the debt.

While your successful uncle works hard, every day up to this day, and even on holidays.

Step 3: Reframing The Fear

Next, you want to take the reason for your fear and reframe them into something that is less stressful or overwhelming to you. But you want to ensure that we reframe it in a way that is logical.

Example,

Fear of people trying to take advantage of my success

First,  I’m looking too far into the future, I need to worry about getting to the destination first. Second, just because my sister is a pushover doesn’t mean I need to be one.

I can just say ”NO” to those who don’t want to help themselves. Or give them a chance to use my money to get back up then figure out a solution to the problem if it occurs again. Ensuring that they not just use me out of convenience.

If they refuse to cooperate, then I can just clarify that I will cut them out of my life.

The reason for going through these 3 steps is so that your fears will become less overwhelming. As it becomes less overwhelming, it will become easier to take further steps to overcome them.

Take Action, Action, and Action

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The previous section is essential to this section because by making your fearless overwhelming. It will then be easier to take action.

We all wish there was a secret to overcoming fear, but the only way to overcome a fear is through taking action and repetition. Through repetition, we can develop certainty, which gives us more confidence to do a certain task/activity.

For example,

Afraid of taking planes

After taking the plane for the first time, we realize that it isn’t so bad. Then the second time will be easier and the 3rd time will be easier and so on.

And the more you take planes, the more comfortable we get, and then we realize that the likeliness of a plane crashing is 1 in a million.

However, it is taking the first few steps that are hard. So here are some tips you can use to help you take the first few actions:

1. Meditation

Through meditation, we learn to be more mindful of our surroundings. By learning to be in the present moment we keep our mind from wandering around and focused on the present.

This helps in reducing the thoughts from going wild and coming up with the fear that is not real or unrealistic. Instead, focus on the task at hand.

2. Embracing Failure

Understand that when we venture into something new, well ”SUCK” at the beginning and you have to give ourselves a chance to ”SUCK” as it is part of learning.

If you don’t take action now, then time will pass and you will still not learn anything. Might as well take action now and learn from it.

3. Relax

Again, learning to meditate will be helpful here too. As you feel anxious or stressed from doing a certain task. You want to calm yourself down and through meditation, we can do that.

4. It’s All In The Mind

Most things that we worry about are not real or are less likely to happen. First, lets try to look at things logically. Then, see if the fear is something that puts you into real danger.

Example,

Is asking that girl for her number = the end of the world for you? NO!

Does she say ”NO” make me look stupid? Maybe… but if I don’t ask, I won’t get it.

5. Control What You Hear and See

If we surround ourselves with negative people and negativity (News, Social Media, etc.) Our view of things is negative. Instead, surround yourself with positive and successful people.

By doing so, you will be more positive and more confident with yourself.

Well, that is all from me in this article. I hope that this article is helpful to you and remember ”Life Becomes Limitless When You Are Fearless”. 

Why It’s Absolutely Ok To Invest In Yourself

Most spend their paychecks on things that may or may not be useful for them. For example, buying a newer and bigger car or a bigger television or maybe a new mobile phone.

While all of that sounds good and I am not one to tell you how to spend your money. As you work hard and earn money, you can spend it however you want to.

But those things add little value to your life. How does buying a bigger television help you with the important areas of your life such as health, wealth, and family?

Instead, a better way to spend is to invest in yourself. The more you invest in yourself, the brighter your future will become. You want to trade instant gratification with delayed gratification.

In this article, we will look at why it is important to invest in yourself and the different ways you invest in yourself. At the end of this article, we’ve included an immediate action plan you can do today.

Why Is It Important To Invest In Yourself?

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Well, the first thing I want to establish here is, ”We Don’t Know, What We Don’t Know”. So, until we step outside our comfort zone to explore and experience something new, we won’t be able to see further and grow outside of the respective bubble that we lived in. 

This causes us to stagnate our growth and watch life pass us by, while we just sit on the sidelines.

To make things clearer, I will use a simple example to illustrate my point of someone who invests in themselves and someone who doesn’t:

Just for the sake of this example, let’s use ”monthly income” as the reason to invest in yourself. Note, investing in yourself can be about your health or other things important to you.

1. Meet Kevin

Kevin is in the finance field. He spends his time traveling to new countries every three months. Kevin also has two expensive cars and re-furnishes home every season etc. 5 years have passed, Kevin’s income stagnated. He wants to increase his income but doesn’t know where to start. The problem here, Kevin didn’t invest in himself. Therefore, his learning curve has decreased.

2. Meet Aaron

Aaron works in the data management field. He expanded his knowledge of data through online courses. Aaron also has a knack for CrossFit. He’s hired a trainer. They meet twice a week to train. With his knowledge, in 5-10 years Aaron can start his own data company, become a trainer in CrossFit or start a gym. Since Aaron invests in himself, his earning potential has increased. 

So, how can we invest in ourselves?

Keep reading the next section to find out more.

4 Ways To Invest In Yourself

1. Take A Course, Learn A New Skill

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First, you want to do your research. Look for an expert in the category of your life you want to improve. If you want to improve your health and fitness, then research on that.

Ensure that they have credibility and before you take their courses. Maybe you want to try out and be a fitness coach yourself because you decided the corporate world is too stressful. Then maybe you can go apply for a license, etc.

Maybe you’ve been in the finance industry for so long and you no longer find your job fulfilling. Then maybe it’s time to take other classes in different industries.

Maybe learning to code, culinary, digital marketing, etc. Just anything to expand your horizon and explore other options that you have.

2. Hire An Expert

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Similar to taking a course, but more expensive to do so. If you have extra money to spare and are too lazy to do your homework, then you might hire an expert to come and prepare/teach/guide you.

For example, if you’re trying to lose weight and are too lazy and/or unable to prepare your meals on your own. You can hire a chef to prepare your meals that fit your diet and your required macro/micronutrients.

3. Buying Books

Image for Buying books in article why it's absolutely ok to invest in yourself

Again, understanding what you want to improve in your life. Then researching the best books that may provide that knowledge or expanding your knowledge on a certain subject.

Although, expanding your knowledge on a certain subject may seem like a waste of time. Sometimes, that knowledge will all make sense later on in life as we continue to grow.

If bits of knowledge are dots, then experiences will connect them.

4. Go Back To School

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This one is if you want to climb up the corporate ladder. However, it also depends on the job you are doing as not all careers will need you to have a master’s degree.

So do your research on that before going back to school, as you don’t want to waste your time and money.

Quick Recap + Action Plan

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Recap:

  1. It is important to invest in yourself so you can handle life better and make progress in life. Instead of just watching life pass.
  2. Different ways you can invest in yourself and improve your overall life.

Action Plan: Steps To Take Right Now to Invest In Yourself

Step 1: Pick an area in your life you want to improve or need some improvement.

The 3 major categories I look into are:

  1. Wealth
  2. Health
  3. Family

Now, these are just categories important to me and you can figure out on your own what’s important to you.

Step 2: Defining what you want

So, if you pick health, which is a broad category. You need to define what you want or mean.

For example, maybe by health, you mean fitness. So, what you want to accomplish is it to get ripped or just to lose weight.

Step 3: Pick a method to achieve that goal (you can choose from the ” different ways section” of this article)

Pick a method, then do your research to check for credibility and invest.
We want to hear from you!

How are you investing in yourself?

Leave us a comment.

That is all for this article. I hope you find this article helpful and thank you for your time.

How to Completely Control Your Finances

Financial stress refers to the difficulty in addressing basic financial commitments because of a shortage of money. This stress can stem from not earning enough money, being in debt, expense of raising kids, or being married to someone who doesn’t make wise financial decisions.

If you’re worried about money, you’re not alone because many of us are dealing with different financial stress and uncertainties. But the good news is, we have gathered some helpful tips to help you deal with financial stress and be able to see actual progress.

TIP #1: Gather the Facts

Tracking your income regarding your expenses can seem to be a lot of work, but it is one of the most crucial steps to take hold of your finances. To illustrate, determine how much money you are earning on a weekly basis, then subtract all your daily bills and debts.

You’ll get a better understanding of where your money goes, when you gather the facts about your income relative to your expenses and debts. And you won’t fall into the endless cycle of asking yourself “where did all my money go?” by the end of each month.

TIP #2: Focus on What You Can Control

If you spend more than what you earn, perhaps it’s time to cut down on your daily spending. This is challenging to most people, but it is important if you want to reach your financial goals, because no one is accountable for your money, but you. You can start by decreasing your spending on wants and focusing on your primary needs.

TIP #3: Budget

Every great financial plan has a sound budget. Keep track of every penny that enters or leaves your wallet. Although this can seem to be a tedious task, budgeting can help eliminate unnecessary spending. In doing this you can either go with the traditional paper and pen tracking, or you can use budgeting applications that you can download on your mobile phone for free.

TIP #4: Work on a Plan to Boost Your Income

Another tip that you can incorporate into your life is to find more sources of income. Find a side hustle, start an online business, or look for a better paying job to earn a little extra money that you can save or use for paying existing debts. For example, buy and resell things online, or work as a freelance writer for companies.

TIP #5: Start an Emergency Fund

It is always advisable to have emergency funds in place that can cover your living expenses for 3 to 6 months. This can help you cover unexpected financial events, such as medical costs, losing your job, or housing repairs. You can start small by saving loose change and increase by setting automatic bank transfers into your emergency funds.

TIP #6: Find Ways to Relax

Finding time to relax in your hectic schedule is as important as grinding and working hard. You can either have minute-long breaks or spend a weekend outside the city. It’s important to prevent burnout, as a regulated mood increases your learning and memory function.

Conclusion

Although any stress can take a toll on one’s health, financial-related stress issues can be toxic and can negatively affect a person’s health and mental well-being. But luckily, you can ease this stress by gathering the facts about your income and expenses, focusing on what you can control, creating a sound budget, finding extra sources of income, saving up for emergency funds, and relaxing. By following these tips, you can take control of your finances and see actual progress.

4 Tips You Need to Create a Solid Budget

While many people talk about the importance of a budget, what does that mean? Simply put, a budget is a plan that outlines how you’ll spend your money. Budgets outline your income and expenses, either known or expected.

Having a budget is a key factor in improving or maintaining financial health. You’ll have less stress about financial matters, when you take the time to create and follow a budget. Budgets also allows you to face financial challenges with ease and put you in better financial health.

If you want to build a sustainable budget though, you need to know what that means. These are four essential tips that will help you when creating and following a budget.

  1. List All Your Incomes

Your income is an essential part of your budget.  While some people may have one income that doesn’t change much throughout the year, other people may have varying income. They may have bonuses, have several jobs, or have income from other sources. To plan out what you can spend, you need to know how much you’ll be receiving.

For example, if you have two part-time jobs, your hours may vary slightly. However, you can look at past paychecks to determine the average amount of money that you make each month. This amount may change, but it will provide you with an estimate of how much you can expect to earn each month.

  1. Use Credit Wisely and Sparingly

Some people avoid credit altogether, but it’s a good idea to have credit available. You’ll need a credit history to make larger purchases such as a house or car. However, credit can be dangerous when not used well. You should always ask yourself if you’re using credit wisely and limit how much you take out in credit.

If you have a credit card, it’s easy to make large purchases. If you can pay off the balance each month, then you’re in good shape. However, credit card debt has high-interest rates and may be difficult or impossible to pay off. If you have a credit card, track your spending carefully and avoid impulse purchases that may increase your risk.

  1.  Keep Your Checkbook Balanced

This is a term that many younger people don’t understand. However, it means that you should not spend more than you make. When checks were more commonly used, people would track their income and expenses to avoid overdrawing their checking accounts. Today, you may not use checks often. However, every time you make a purchase, document this as an expense. Subtract it from your income to make sure you know where your money goes each month.

  1. Reduce Expenses

Perhaps, you find it difficult to keep your checkbook balanced, you may benefit from cutting back on what you spend. Look at where your money goes, consider where you can cut back and which expenses are the highest.

One example of this would be rent. While you need a place to live, is there a more affordable option? Could you save more by having a roommate? This is just one example, but there are many options to reduce expenses.

Creating a Solid Budget

Now that you have four effective steps to create a workable budget, it’s time to get started. Know where your money comes from, how you spend it, and how to limit what you spend. With these simple tips, you’ll be on the path to good financial health in no time.

How to Completely Control Your Finances

Financial stress refers to the difficulty in addressing basic financial commitments because of a shortage of money. This stress can stem from not earning enough money, being in debt, expense of raising kids, or being married to someone who doesn’t make wise financial decisions.

If you’re worried about money, you’re not alone because many of us are dealing with different financial stress and uncertainties. But the good news is, we have gathered some helpful tips to help you deal with financial stress and be able to see actual progress.

TIP #1: Gather the Facts

Tracking your income regarding your expenses can seem to be a lot of work, but it is one of the most crucial steps to take hold of your finances. To illustrate, determine how much money you are earning on a weekly basis, then subtract all your daily bills and debts.

You’ll get a better understanding of where your money goes, when you gather the facts about your income relative to your expenses and debts. And you won’t fall into the endless cycle of asking yourself “where did all my money go?” by the end of each month.

TIP #2: Focus on What You Can Control

If you spend more than what you earn, perhaps it’s time to cut down on your daily spending. This is challenging to most people, but it is important if you want to reach your financial goals, because no one is accountable for your money, but you. You can start by decreasing your spending on wants and focusing on your primary needs.

TIP #3: Budget

Every great financial plan has a sound budget. Keep track of every penny that enters or leaves your wallet. Although this can seem to be a tedious task, budgeting can help eliminate unnecessary spending. In doing this you can either go with the traditional paper and pen tracking, or you can use budgeting applications that you can download on your mobile phone for free.

TIP #4: Work on a Plan to Boost Your Income

Another tip that you can incorporate into your life is to find more sources of income. Find a side hustle, start an online business, or look for a better paying job to earn a little extra money that you can save or use for paying existing debts. One great example would be buying and reselling stuff online, or working as a freelance writer for companies.

TIP #5: Start an Emergency Fund

It is always advisable to have emergency funds in place that can cover your living expenses for 3 to 6 months. This can help you cover unexpected financial events, such as medical costs, losing your job, or housing repairs. You can start small by saving loose change and increase by setting automatic bank transfers into your emergency funds.

TIP #6: Find Ways to Relax

Finding time to relax in your hectic schedule is as important as grinding and working hard. You can either have minute-long breaks or spend a weekend outside the city. This will prevent burnout and help regulate your mood, which is linked to learning and memory function.

Conclusion

Although any stress can take a toll on one’s health, financial-related stress issues can be toxic and can negatively affect a person’s health and mental well-being. But luckily, you can ease this stress by gathering the facts about your income and expenses, focusing on what you can control, creating a sound budget, finding extra sources of income, saving up for emergency funds, and relaxing. By following these tips, you can take control of your finances and see actual progress.